Dear Ufology: I’m Out

Dear Ufology:

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while but just never got around to it. Then I got an email from someone claiming to be a legitimate UFO documents researcher telling me what a great writer I am and requesting that I write more blog posts poking fun at one of my favorite sham people in this, because he and his colleagues think it’s hysterical. From the totality of his email I gathered that he was one who believed in the stale extraterrestrial hypothesis and hadn’t read anything else on my blog. To him, I am just a a satirist–a noble profession, but for me it comes from a deeper place than parody for parody’s sake, or taking it to con men as a comedic power trip.

At least it should. But does it anymore?

Ufology, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve changed. I don’t care about pedophile puppet makers and pretend-poor podcasters. Doctors who aren’t doctors and lobbyists who don’t lobby. I’ve done my part in helping expose hypnosis as the wrong tool for memory retrieval and the pseudo therapists taking advantage of people. Done my part in illuminating alternative theories to the extraterrestrial hypothesis. Done my part in helping to foster a legitimate scientific survey of experiencers. Done my part in holding conferences. Done my part in exposing my life of high strangeness for your scrutiny. Done my part in trying to lighten up a dreary field full of self-serious noisemakers, opportunists, and whatever wannabe-famous people from five steps below wishing to be a youtube sensation are.

Whatever positive impact all of that has had on anyone’s life was worth it. But I’m not really angry anymore about the stuff I despise. It’s all vastly, wildly uninteresting. And so maybe I am becoming a parody for parody’s sake kinda guy. The next inevitable step is becoming an unaware parody of myself. Meh. Who wants to be that guy?

I have one more ufological book in me, as promised. A sequel of sorts to, I Know Why The Aliens Don’t Land!. And I’ll keep doing The Experience for as long as experiencers are willing to talk. The occasional Paratopia Oculus? Sure. But really, that’s it, for I have already moved on.

Of all the books I’ve written, perhaps the most useful for readers has been Urgency. And over the years many readers have told me they wished I’d take that part of my life more seriously. I never didn’t take it seriously, personally, but publicly, I tend to be serious in spurts. Mainly, I’ve been a clown show of contradiction. (Is it any wonder that I find Trickster Theory so appealing?)

Well, no more. I’m hunkering down. I’m doing the work. I’m moving on into the serious phase. Not Marky Mark into Mark Wahlberg serious. I mean, I am bringing my sense of humor with me as I go, but it’s not coming from a place of anger, because where I’m going, only those truly, deeply concerned with life the universe and everything will follow. It is the place at the heart of all this Mystery that we claim to care about. It is a place not of debate, self-agrandizement, and fruitless commotion. It is a place of undoing. Our undoing. And I hope to see whomever is ready for the grad school version of Urgency. there.

Our Undoing Logo with Tagline

 

Best-Sell Me and WIN!

Into The End (front cover)Last weekend, with the aid of the UK, I became an international Amazon best-selling UFO author for I Know Why The Aliens Don’t Land!, which is what I now demand to be called whenever I’m on a show. Or maybe “Superstar.” Perhaps “Underground Cult Sensation.” I haven’t decided. But I will demand something once I decide.  For that you were rewarded–yes, that is the right word, rewarded–with the public thank you ufology deserves. Furthermore, you won me getting off my butt and writing that long-overdue sequel. See you in 2016.

This weekend, I took another bold step in the direction of becoming the thing I hate when you made Urgency. an Amazon best-seller in New Age Mysticism. Good for you! Good for all of us! But you know what, the UK? You’re slacking. For it is, as of this writing, not an international best-seller. Get off your asses for fucksake. Enlightenment is just a click away! Still… for that I shall reward you with yet another acceptance speech. No sequel, but I’ll think about starting a cult. I do live in Hawaii. It’s perfect weather for culting.

Let’s keep it going. This one is going to be a tougher nut to crack because it involves book categories that people actually read. I’m talking Horror novels and Post-Apocalyptic literature. I’m talking about Into The End. Make Into The End a top 100 best-seller in either of these categories by next weekend and I shall reward you with another comedy roast speech.  Crack the top 50 in horror and I will also turn it into a trilogy.

Thanks for playing. Now get to paying.

And the UK? Isn’t it time you beat the Americans at something? No, squash doesn’t count. Grow up.