Oh, crap. 2020’s, got another disappointment to deliver: turns out, there is no such thing as an alien/human hybrid breeding program and I can all but prove it. It’s something I’ve never heard anyone say–and I’ve heard a lot of people say a lot of things in my day, believe you me. Likely, this got overlooked because it’s so very directly under our proverbial noses.
More likely, someone said it and I never heard it. But forget that. It’s mine now. And I will share it with you, but it’ll cost ya. See, I’ve been sitting around thinking to myself, ‘Self? What low-rent publicity stunt can I perform next to help sell my book, I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction? I already have it on sale for 50% off the Kindle edition. WTF more do people want?’
Yeah, I actually thought the letters WTF. And then I smashed my forehead with the butt of my palm over and over again, screaming, “Bad, Bad, Bad, BAD, BAD!!!!”
“Get it together, Vaeni,” the double image in the cracked mirror scolded me. How did that get there?
I was dizzy and cold. But curiously not frightnened.
Anyway, enough about my creative process. Here’s what I came up with: I can all but prove hybrids are bullshit but I’m only going to share that knowledge after a brief, successful extortion attempt. If 5 people–whether they’re reading this or not–just five people buy my book on Kindle or paperback by Saturday night, on Sunday, I will make the big reveal right here on the blog. Oh, yes. So, if ever you needed that extra incentive? Need no more, friend, need no more.
The half-off Kindle sale ends Monday. But don’t tell yourself that. Tell yourself it ends Saturday, or no hybrids-are-bullshit-reason-#435 for you. Or anyone. Anyone? Anyone. And you all need to hear this.
Well, okay, you don’t. But it might hold your interest for five seconds and that’s five seconds longer than most shit on the internet. Speaking of which, here. Have a link to my voice. It’s free and it’s lovely this time of year:
See ya Sunday!