There Is No Alien/Human Hybrid Program

Oh, crap. 2020’s, got another disappointment to deliver: turns out, there is no such thing as an alien/human hybrid breeding program and I can all but prove it. It’s something I’ve never heard anyone say–and I’ve heard a lot of people say a lot of things in my day, believe you me. Likely, this got overlooked because it’s so very directly under our proverbial noses.

More likely, someone said it and I never heard it. But forget that. It’s mine now. And I will share it with you, but it’ll cost ya. See, I’ve been sitting around thinking to myself, ‘Self? What low-rent publicity stunt can I perform next to help sell my book, I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction? I already have it on sale for 50% off the Kindle edition. WTF more do people want?’

Yeah, I actually thought the letters WTF. And then I smashed my forehead with the butt of my palm over and over again, screaming, “Bad, Bad, Bad, BAD, BAD!!!!”

“Get it together, Vaeni,” the double image in the cracked mirror scolded me. How did that get there?

I was dizzy and cold. But curiously not frightnened.

Anyway, enough about my creative process. Here’s what I came up with: I can all but prove hybrids are bullshit but I’m only going to share that knowledge after a brief, successful extortion attempt. If 5 people–whether they’re reading this or not–just five people buy my book on Kindle or paperback by Saturday night, on Sunday, I will make the big reveal right here on the blog. Oh, yes. So, if ever you needed that extra incentive? Need no more, friend, need no more.

The half-off Kindle sale ends Monday. But don’t tell yourself that. Tell yourself it ends Saturday, or no hybrids-are-bullshit-reason-#435 for you. Or anyone. Anyone? Anyone. And you all need to hear this.

Well, okay, you don’t. But it might hold your interest for five seconds and that’s five seconds longer than most shit on the internet. Speaking of which, here. Have a link to my voice. It’s free and it’s lovely this time of year:

See ya Sunday!

Alien Savages

Meh. I forgot to look and see when I wrote this tidbit. At least 2018. I never did anything with it, but something of the sentiment gets explored in great detail in, I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction.

It is incumbent upon the aliens to make sure you understand they come in peace.

Every racist depiction we have of Europeans landing in the Americas, Africa, or an island is of the scared “savage” greeting calm, even-tempered white people with loud, crazy language and at the tip of a spear. Aliens mock this with their roboticized “We mean you no harms” and placid “Just calm downs” in the context of, not meet-and-greets, but, abductions, wherein the abductee is screaming and thrashing about, savagely.

Yeah, that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I’m sure when I wrote it I had big plans to stretch it into an article-worthy blog post, but I’m glad I didn’t. What I wrote for the book is muuuuuch more thorough than anything I’d have written here, article-worthy or otherwise.

There’s a lot in this book spreading in different directions. It’s interesting to see what readers focus on and what they don’t. Thus far, no one has mentioned the chapter on how alien abductions mirror the racist guilt-turned-fear of European/American colonizers.

There’s lot’s of love out there for my sweeping theorizing about the nature and mechanics of reality, but when it comes to the alien abduction narratives to which we’ve all grown accustomed… radio silence.

Perhaps my observations on aliens hit a little too close to home.

Good Ol’ Amazon

Aloha, Gang:

Just a quick note for anyone who uses Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature to read book excerpts. For I Am To Tell You This And I Am To Tell You It Is Fiction, the Kindle version works just fine. But today, I had them dismantle the paperback version, which was completely different from the Kindle. In fact, the paperback version spoiled the ending and made the entire book look like something it is not. Two kinda huge problems.

As of now, if you want to read excerpts, click on the Kindle version. If you want to buy the Kindle version, I was alerted to the fact (thank you, alerter person) that it isn’t available on all Kindle devices because it is a print replica. (It has to be. I cannot change this due to some of the image-heavy content.)

Sorry for any inconvenience this is causing ya, folks. Here is a list of Kindle devices/apps that WILL accept print-replica Kindle books:

Fire Tablets….

Kindle Fire HDX 8.9”
Kindle Fire HDX
Kindle Fire HD(2nd Generation)
Fire HDX 8.9 Tablet
Fire HD 7 Tablet
Fire HD 6 Tablet
Kindle Fire HD 8.9″
Kindle Fire HD(1st Generation)
Kindle Fire(2nd Generation)
Kindle Fire(1st Generation)
Fire HD 10
Fire HD 8

Free Kindle Reading Apps….

Kindle for Android Phones
Kindle for Android Tablets
Kindle for iPhone
Kindle for iPod Touch
Kindle for iPad
Kindle for Mac
Kindle for PC