Ufology’s Dirtiest Secret

Ufology. The study of unknown flying objects and surrounding phenomena.

Ufology. We demand the truth from our government/military/corporate complex.

Ufology. If you don’t think there are aliens flying through our airspace then you’re asleep.

Ufology. We will drag science into this kicking and screaming if we have to.

Ufology. We are dedicated to this cause because we know this is real and the most important discovery in mankind’s history.

Ufology. If you study this stuff, you are one of the elite. Welcome out of the matrix.

Ufology. Those are all the talking points we believed in decades ago. Now it’s just a business and a way to forge a social life.

Wait, what?

Yep, that’s the big secret behind Area 51, the face on Mars, The X-Files, and Giorgio Tsoukalos’s hair. That’s the reason that, with so little opposition, the Disclosure Movement has been able to pioneer new ways of promoting charlatans year after year as they inch closer and closer to… not disclosure. That’s the reason Kim Carlsberg can claim she’s the grandmother of a cosmic Brady Bunch. That’s the reason David Jacobs is invited to speak at conferences when perhaps we would all be best served if he spoke in front of a jury.

And that’s the reason crap like this proliferates:

That’s Michael Salla speaking. His wife and he used to charge rather large sums of money to bring unsuspecting New Age tourists out to where dolphins tend to sleep and play in Kona, Hawaii, telling them that they were psychically calling them in. Turns out they were calling them in the same way fellow disclosure advocate Steven Greer calls in UFOs with flashlights and laser pointers. Sometimes these UFOs would shape shift into airplanes and helicopters when light was applied to their mighty morphing hulls. I think he should sue for gimmick infringement.  In any event, Ted Roe called out  the Family Salla on their Aquaman-like powers and now they’ve been shamed. Humiliated. Disgraced. And asked to appear on Coast as an authority on this NASA footage, apparently. (Or at least he has. I don’t know what his wife’s been up to lately.)

What does this guy have to do to get kicked out of the club, promote a photo of just some dude as an alien giant?

Lead Me To Your Taker.

Some aliens have big eyes. Others, big car keys.

Nope. That didn’t work either. Salla stays. But Salla’s no expert. He’s not a video analyst. So you might be inclined to ask NASA what that footage shows.

–CUT! JEREMY, THAT’S THE LOGICAL THING TO DO. WE CAN’T USE THIS.–

But–!

–OKAY, TAKE TWO… PLACES, PEOPLE… MARKER… SPEED… AND ACTION!–

Salla’s no expert. He’s not a video analyst. So you might be inclined to ask a UFO photo/video analyst what he thinks this represents. Back in the day–way back–way, way back–you might have gotten an honest answer. But nowadays what you usually get is someone who knows full well what he’s looking at but will treat it as a mystery so that he can make the rounds of media appearances as he diligently analyses the footage. By the end of it he’s likely to admit it’s just a part of the space station; or, stepping outside this specific example, a photoshopped element, a bird, a star, a stop light, whatever. He’ll admit that only after he’s exhausted his means of speaking about it as a mysterious object that requires further scrutiny. And the irony is, when he does out what he already knows, that will further cement him as a credible analyst.

The above was told to me by Jeff Ritzmann, who is a respected analyst in ufology (and, yes, one of the good ones.) It shocked and, I imagine, depressed him when he saw this in action. And now it will shock and depress you, too, when you see it in action. Please, do look for it.

Salla’s problem is that he only gets the first part right: he brings nonsense to the table for dissection. But he never follows up with an, “Oops. No. Upon further analysis, it turns out that really is just a normal guy standing in front of a baby tree.” Or, “I called NASA. Turns out that’s actually part of the space station and I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. My bad.” If he did that then there would be no need to start off his lectures as he does with audience breathing exercises. We’d already be hypnotized to his bullshit because we’d think he’s credible.

But we can’t blame guys like Salla, not fully. They’re just making a living doing what they know. Nothing. And we can’t blame media outlets like Coast To Coast because they’ve got a show to fill daily. They’re an entertainment outlet that sometimes gets it right but more often than not gets it wrong. Again, what choice do they have when they have to fill time every single day?

No, the real culprits behind the poor state of ufology are you and me. The audience. We simply don’t demand better. Oh, okay, and Jacobs, too. And the analysts who you may not have known were biting their tongues until the media die down until I just pointed it out here, or you heard Jeff speak about it. Fine–okay–it doesn’t help that Coast pretends to be more than entertainment to lure you in. And yeah–maybe when the mainstream media covers bunk like the citizen’s hearing on disclosure it’s easy to overlook the fact that it’s contrived nonsense.

But… but…. Crap, I just realized something. Ufology’s dirtiest secret of all… is everything.

The only place these phenomena have ever hidden is in plain sight. We leech onto answers that we know are incorrect by the way they make us (or our institutions, which are also us) neurotic, dysfunctional messes. Lies do that to people. The healthy response is to see it and move away from it, not embrace it.

Until we do that, we are the coverup.

Disclosure Crickets

No Ones Watching

Perhaps no one should.

You may be wondering why it’s so quiet around here lately. Well, I was going to write this long diatribe about the shame of the Disclosure Movement misrepresenting the mystery  attached to ufology and how if mainstream reporters are going to cover this they should at least know who the fraudulent players are before they quote them as if they represent the rest of us. But then I got lazy and figured I’d do a youtube video instead. Then I got lazier and soon enough too much time had passed to where I realized, Oh, that’s right: nobody cares.

Heard anything about disclosure lately? No, right? Because the mainstream doesn’t really care. Only when it’s a slow news cycle. Thank the gods, too, because I’d hate to see buffoons like Bassett, Greer, Cortile, Lamb, and on and on being taken seriously long enough to solidify the popular image that ufology is for loons and snakes.

Well, it is, granted. But the rest of the world doesn’t need to know that. Ufology is ufology’s dirty little secret and it’s best to keep it that way until we grow up.

Not incidentally, I’m also selfishly glad that the drop in media attention means I can carry on drifting in the waters of the Pacific and not feel the need to sit here for longer than it takes to write 5 paragraphs. Mmm… make that 4. Lazy–we discussed this.