Now Available – “I Know Why The Aliens Don’t Land!” for the Kindle!

I Know Why Book CoverToday I’ve launched the Kindle version of my 1st book, I Know Why The Aliens Don’t Land! (Available on the Nook at a later date TBA.)

Rereading it as I formatted it–Oh my god, so many great stories. I’d forgotten a lot of it. That is to say, a lot of the details of my life. I actually found myself rooting for this character I had to remember was me!

So, if you missed out on the paperback, here comes the ebook, finally. If this sells well I will release the all-but-abandoned sequel, The Skeleton Key To All Worlds at least as an ebook; maybe as a paperback.

As always, thanks for reading!



Alien abductee Jeremy Vaeni takes us on a whirlwind tour of his life and the world around him to illustrate exactly why aliens do not publicly land and greet us with open arms. I Know Why The Aliens Don’t Land! is a revelation with laughter. It is what happens when a true outside mystery injects its presence into the cynical mind of Generation X.
“[A] wild ride with many curves and loops…fascinating.” – Jim Marrs, author of Alien Agenda and Rule By Secrecy
“In many ways, his book reminded me of classic Hunter S. Thompson: Gonzo, containing a plethora of entertaining characters and situations; but most important of all, having something significant and relevant to impart, and to make the reader think, ponder, consider and absorb his words on all-things alien and more.” – Nick Redfern, author of The Pyramids and the Pentagon, Final Events, and Contactees
“Vaeni soars and cleaves in the spirit of the finest Giordano Bruno and, that good, may even live to grace the stake of same.” – Alfred Lehmberg, Alien Views“If you’re looking for quick answers and a linear narrative, numerous hair raising events, surgical extractions of implants, and analytical discussions on what those little guys are doing invading our homes and bodies, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you want a meaningful answer as to what those little guys are doing invading our homes and bodies, you’ll get it, as Lt. Colonel Philip Corso would say, if you can take it. Vaeni’s style is quirky and engaging, and restlessly jumps from one expositional form to another, making his points in the style he deems best suited for the moment. The spine of the book is the use of an ongoing interview — a device employed by no less than Aristotle in his Dialogues — between a ‘Norm De Plume’ and himself. Beyond this, the book is a kaleidoscope of prose techniques, including news clippings, poems, and both first and third person narratives. Though not born of blogging and the internet, his style suits the blogosphere well — quick, punchy, and irreverent. We get to know Vaeni in candid — even explicit — detail. He engages us quickly. We get to know and care about him, and because of this we are willing to follow down the twists and turns of his story. The payoff of the book is long in coming, and this reader found this distracting. Though enjoined in the author’s introduction to not read but to experience the book, I began to find the teasing detours and the crazy quilt of the prose a bit tedious. Hitting Chapter 11 and confronted with the title ‘time out for song, poem, story, and ranting’ (page 50) I lost patience with it and jumped to the end of the book and skimmed back to find an unwavering discussion on the subject of aliens pick up at Chapter 53, page 310 out of the book’s 381. And yet, I went back to read the rest. What at first blush appear to be long digressions on unrelated matters — his emotionally torturous love life as a high school student and young adult, coming to (and living through the culture shock) of New York City, a very long narrative about his career at Nickelodeon studios and an intensely frustrating affair — give us context, helps us understand the paradoxical nature of Vaeni’s struggles, and adds to the overall ambiance. (I will never be able to think about Nickelodeon as anything other than a corporate political nightmare again.) These same needs could probably have been fulfilled more quickly, and possibly more effectively — the fiction writer in me would wanted to have seen a more linear narrative, demonstrating the interplay between the personal events of his life and the paranormal ones. One could argue these tangents help exposition the human condition, one of the overall points of the book, but can’t help but feel like uncorrelated — albeit absorbing — digressions. Despite the book’s flaws, it is an engaging book for two reasons Vaeni is an excellent writer. He engages, he plays, he doesn’t rest. The vitality of his prose never flags. He has understood the painfully obvious fundamental (and all-too-frequently ignored) rule of writing: a writer’s work needs to be interesting. Beyond this, the real strength of I Know Why the Aliens Don’t Land! is the personality and personableness of the narrator. It comes through clearly. We know Jeremy Vaeni, we care about him, and because we care about him we forgive him his excesses and listen to his wisdom when he finally offers it.” – Daniel Brenton, blogger for The Meaning of Existence (and all that)


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