Letters… we get letters….
I received an email from a reader who asks a series of great questions pertaining t my last blog post, How & Why Truth-Seekers Lie To Themselves. I asked if I could respond publicly, keeping him anonymous, and mercifully he said yes. So, I’ll break it down and answer as I go. The initial two are questions I’ve gotten before from others so I know there are many of you wondering the same things.
Hi Jeremy. I just read your most recent post on JayVay… the one concerning seekers lying to themselves. I thought it was interesting, though, reading the conclusion makes me wonder why you wrote it in the first place? Isn’t the post itself a reaction to something… a remanent of truth…
If you’re in a deep sleep and the house is on fire, you need to wake up. The person next to you can shake you and yell “Wake up!” but it’s you who must do the waking.
More times than not what we do is incorporate the shaking and the yelling into the dream so we can remain asleep, but every now and then the sleeper feels it and hears it for what it is and emerges from the depths of themselves on high alert. Of course they needed to know they were asleep in the first place before they could wake up, right?
I have to shake and yell–get your attention–because the house is on fire and I need us both to live, but that’s all I can do. You have to have the clarity of mind to see it in the dream for what it is, not sleep through it. I can’t teach you that and I can’t assume that responsibility for you, it’s on you, the dreamer, to see the fact and in so seeing spontaneously wake up. There is no choice, no interval of time, when you actually see the fact: House. Fire. Shit, I’m up!
But waking up ends you, the dreamer. It kills the dreamer, so you generally struggle to remain asleep. You will even go so far as to incorporate the stimuli into the dream, if what you’re dreaming is a hero’s journey where you’re seeking to wake up.
Oddly enough it can be said that waking kills you so that you may live.
If nothing needs to happen why do you continue [to] write?
One answer is that I write it because that’s who I am. What else can I express? Another related answer is that I write because “nothing” is not as passive as it sounds. These may not satisfy but the problem with saying more than that is it immediately devolves into a dissertation or a lesson plan when really, any more words on the matter need to come from you after the fact of waking as they do for me after the fact. Universal means just that and so, when the personal you vanishes, the impersonal (or universal) assumes its natural expression through the body as you. The word “impersonal” sounds cold, which is unfortunate, because it actually contains the personal. You resurrect, so to speak, as You Version 2.0. 2.0 has all the same insights I’m sharing as a natural expression of self and so there’s nothing to learn here.
If that’s confusing, the basic thing I’m saying poorly is that all of this “knowledge” I may appear to have doesn’t come from teachings of any kind. It is inherent knowledge of universal truths that flow naturally and spontaneously within. Where do you think the alleged spiritual masters got all their neat ideas from? They arose from within and so I challenge the notion that they should be taught. Nothing should be taught. All of this should be pointed out so that clarity becomes YOU.
Why, then, you may wonder, if the impersonal contains the personal can’t this energy that is more alive than the dream–more YOU than you–just dissolve you in the first place? I mean, why do you exist at all if you’re a barrier to Truth?
Elementary, my dear Watson! It’s because this “Truth” we’re talking about contains all things. One of those things is ignorance. But you don’t have to be the one living in ignorance. Humanity doesn’t have to be the one living in ignorance. We can wake from it and have it “live on” in imagination and remembrance only and that would be just fine. THAT is the only free will choice in existence.
Does it exacerbate the fearful/paranoid side of seeking by telling the seeker they’re doing it all wrong?
If anyone reading this has a reaction, that’s certainly going to be one of them. Now what do you do with that repulsion? Do you examine why you’re fearful or paranoid? Why these words turn you off or scare you or make you angry?
When I first read Jiddu Krishnamurti I was angered yet something intrigued me. My thinking wasn’t wired to really hear him–he sounded judgmental and kinda crazy. I struggled to read his dialogues because so many intelligent, wise, and aware people cited him that I knew I had to be missing something. Somewhere along the way I found that my anger stemmed from the fact that here’s this guy saying things antithetical to everything I felt I knew and yet at the same time I could not argue his points. They made more sense than anything I had.
He made more sense than me and he was the one speaking the antithesis of me.
There’s no crueler slap in the face than the day you wake up as an adult and realize you don’t know shit and are a dysfunction. You don’t understand a damned thing about the very existence you’re living. You’re a backwards reflection of Truth trying to drag it into the mirror.
So, yeah. I understand that reaction well. Now if these words stick with you and make you feel something, what do you do with that feeling? They’re invading your dream. Do you ponder why you’re feeling anything in the first place? Do you let them eat at you in an unhealthy way? Do you ignore them and move on to the next coherent babble? This is the moment of truth, as it were–what you do with how you feel determines what happens next.
Also, I’m unclear what your full position on ‘seeking’ is. I left with the notion that it’s not warm and fuzzy. If that’s so, how do you feel about curiosity and wonder? Those feel like beautiful qualities (seen at full force in kids) and seem to promote seeking. What’s the difference for you if any?
Those are beautiful qualities. Life is Mystery but this one’s been solved, we just keep living like it hasn’t. We’re stuck on stupid as Dr. Phil might say. (You’re welcome.)
Seeking answers applies to most everything in life. It’s what we do. It’s how our brains are programmed, really. Seek, seek, seek. Answer, answer, answer. Another riddle… another riddle… on and on. It’s no wonder at all why we assume we can seek and find an answer to the ultimate but the ultimate is not within time. It transcends and includes time. So in this special case, rest, rest, rest; be, be, be.
I think it in my personal experience, it’s been the joy and delight of discovery (seeking?) that has loosened my grip on ‘self’… for what it’s worth.
Who is “you” that has a grip on “self”? Did you loosen or divide?
Discovery is a joy and it does lighten. The veil thins, insights occur, the veil strengthens. Those insights add on to who you are. You are stronger by the end of it, actually.
Seekers are easy to talk to but hard to reach. Obviously, you need to want to have the discussion in the first place to entertain the message. Paradoxically, the message is, “Stop seeking, stop wanting, stop doing and be.” That’s a different quality of not seeking than the person who doesn’t care about this enough to quest for Truth in the first place.
We desire wholeness. If you remain unconscious of that, then this goes right over your head. You funnel that desire into other things–sex, entertainment, power issues. You hunger. You feed. If you’re rich you end up telling everyone how wealth doesn’t fill the hole, doesn’t make you whole, and if you’re poor you say, “Yeah, right. You can afford to say that, you’re rich!”
We desire wholeness. If you are conscious of it, you quest for it–you seek it. This is a natural reaction. But you don’t find it anywhere. Your discoveries and insights along the way make you feel as if you’re getting closer, though. They do have very real and beneficial (sometimes tangible) effects. You can become a stronger, wiser person within the dream. You can learn to be a lucid dreamer, if you will. But do not confuse waking within the dream by increments to waking totally out of it. I think that is the crux of most of the confusion with this topic. What I’m telling you is not meant to negate all of the stuff we’ve learned over centuries of contemplation, meditation, and so forth. I’m pointing to something that transcends and includes all of it but looks suspiciously like it and so looks suspiciously like something you should be able to seek with the same tools.
Wanting to learn is necessary until you hit the edge of the cliff. There is a little sign tacked to a tree that reads: “Wanting to learn brought you this far. It can bring you even farther. All you have to do is jump.”
If you succumb to the temptation you realize the cliff was really the edge of another rabbit hole. But if you sit and ponder why all the cliffs turn into rabbit holes and what you need to do differently to break the pattern, there’s really only one thing you’ll find you haven’t done: nothing.
Thanks for inspiring this dialogue, anonymous writer!