This week holds a very special place in my heart. It’s the week when 5 of my least-favorite ufological buffoons have, in their own ways, imploded and exposed themselves as liars and hypocrites. Some of them are cannibalizing each other in online flame wars; others are setting themselves on fire.
Gee, maybe 2012 will be the year of enlightenment after all? (Sorry, Ghosthorse.)
Watching the circus leave town, I am struck by what the clowns all have in common: They’re all narcissists. Four of the five I’d say are delusional. And what else? They’re all male. Are these traits coincidental? I don’t think so.
Obviously when you don’t like someone or don’t like their work you say they have wronged you, are wrong, are liars, are ignorant, are crazy. Maybe they are lazy thinkers or just plain stupid. Maybe, if you’re generous, you say you agree to disagree–something like that. I mean we all know the common ingredients that go into disputes where you feel you’re “right” and the other is “wrong” or even “bad” to your “good” and the recipe is particular to the individuals involved and the situation. But this ego-maniacal/delusional thing? That’s strikingly male, at least in this field.
When I think of the females in ufology I’ve ever had a problem with, the nature of the issues are as individual as the people. That isn’t to say wounded ego doesn’t play a role for them–certainly in the case of the 2 who follow Jeff and me around the net to trash us wherever they can simply because we kicked them off the old message board when they couldn’t handle being shown where they were factually wrong on certain topics–that type of thing is all about “nobody tells me no” or “nobody tells me I’m stupid… You think you’re better than me? I’ll show you.”
We all have our issues. I’m not immune either. But that type of thinking ain’t one of ’em.
I’ve said before I think this is a male-dominated field and maybe it isn’t any more than any other. Maybe it just feels like a boys club because the males are solitary in their dysfunction. Whether it’s an adamant declaration onstage about what we know, a trolls-as-podcasters false flag operation, or a former friend just blatantly lying to vilify the ex, it’s as if there is one entity called “self-aggrandizement” and it takes these many forms.
Or perhaps Narcissus lives in the mirror of every (Westernized? “Civilized”?) man and to break his mirror is to heap upon oneself seven years of bad luck in the form of character attacks, bitching and moaning.
Why is this? What is it about men that we’re blatant puppets of our unhealthiest self center? Again, narcissism isn’t exclusively a male problem… but it is. At least in ufology.
Is it elsewhere? Is it universal? Is there help?
I look at what’s taking place this week as it spills into the next and the next and I think of all that I could add to the frivolous dialogue, all the jabs I could take, or the “I told you so” moments I could seize, but as soon as the urge swells, it recedes and I am left with the base of the structure I’ve built upon since I entered this field a decade ago: These are nothing more than shining examples of the fact that we don’t know what we are. And we need to know that before we can ever address the “other.” The other in ufology is the alien. The other on Earth is the human. Both, if they exist, are thy neighbor and you can’t love either until you’ve healed yourself.
Perhaps it’s time to stop declaring and start inquiring–and start at the starting line: with ourselves.